Today is August 25. Apparently my sense of time has already been hindered. Last night was a very intense ceremony… not so much for me, but for the group that I am apart of. Let me start from the beginning…
I decided to change my seat and sit on the opposite side of the room, two positions to left of the shamans. When it was my turn, I drank one full cup. I sat and waited for the medicine to start working. In my intention last night, I asked Mata Ayahuasca to show me what I should see. I believe I was second to purge. The vomit was coming out of my mouth.. my nose. After nearly 5 heaves, I sat back.. almost disappointed, thinking I had thrown the medicine up. A bit of disorientation took over me and I felt a little dizzy. I closed my eyes and moved my neck, stretching the muscles. I could hear my body moving and was worried that I may turn my neck all the way around. I looked forward and saw, whom I thought to be, both of the facilitators, as they moved, a trail followed behind them. I felt drunk. I was sitting indian style.. I looked down and saw my legs but did not feel I was in the room anymore. I was flying on something, not certain where I was going.
Next to me was the youngest on the trip, whom I later will call ‘little brother’. He was speaking to one of the facilitators, asking where he was, asking if he was dead. He was unsure of thoughts going through his mind. The shamans had just begun their icaros. I covered my right ear as to not hear the conversation between little brother and the facilitator, instead I heard and felt a vibration from within me.. getting louder. But to no avail, little brother began screaming. I opened my eyes and saw dark figures entering the room. One by one, they entered, stopping in the middle of the moloka and then took a position on the opposite side of them room from where I was sitting. My intuition said they were simply spectators who had come to watch what was going on with little brother. They did not feel evil, but did not feel angelic either. LB got up, walking around the moloka and began yelling at god. The facilitators were trying to keep him calm, but his rage was getting stronger, screams getting louder. They were able to eventually get him back on his mat, but at that moment, I had to remove myself from the moloka, the energy was too strong around me. I walked outside to see the stars, instead I was feeling the strength of mosquitos in the Amazon. It was raining and the mosquitos were attacking my feet. I made sure to stay in the protected area of the moloka that the shamans had encircled prior to ceremony. I was waiting outside, waiting for the chaos in the moloka to calm down. Two others of the group also came outside, the yelling louder inside. Then I saw a few people walking, all in white, toward the moloka.. I wasn’t sure in that moment if it was an effect from the medicine or there truly were people walking toward us. It ended up being some of the other staff from the retreat center. They had heard the yelling.. then, LB ran outside, followed by the facilitators. I immediately went back inside the moloka… the effects of the medicine, on me, had subsided. No second cup was offered, too much was going on. LB was now screaming at the top of his lungs, fighting the facilitators, sounded like there was a struggle, he was running to different areas at the lodge. The shamans were still inside the moloka, “El necesita medicina.”
After a couple hours (it seemed like this, as I mentioned before, my sense of time was weakening) he had finally calmed.
The shamans came around, one by one, and sang an icaros to each of us.
The ceremony ended around 1:30am. I slept.
Today during our group session, I learned that two of the other girls also saw dark beings enter the room. The facilitators said it was not uncommon to see this, as sometimes other spirits do enter the room as spectators and the shamans were aware of their presence.
I shared with the group that I was disappointed that my first experience with ayahuasca was short lived but found my silver lining.. (I am laughing a little as I write this part now because its very premature) that I was very centered and although I was journeying with such a powerful medicine, I was able to come back to my center when the chaos accelerated. Though ayahuasca is strong (shaking my head as I write), I was stronger. (rolls eyes at self)
We had a jungle walk today. Our guide, Victor Escobar, took us on a little stroll through the Amazon rainforest. He showed us the ayahuasca and chacruna plants. He showed us plants that cured cancer and parasites.. and showed us other plants with DMT. We drank cats claw and felt the air, a cool breeze, coming out the trunk of one very large, very old tree.
We then went on a boat ride with the intention of going for a swim. The ride down the Amazon was amazing and beautiful, the clouds above looked like a dream. We stopped near a large tree on the ban of the river and three monkeys came down for a visit. Victor had bananas and the monkeys were well aware. The bounced from lap to lap of all the passengers, waiting for their treat. We then continued down the river and briefly saw a dolphin.. a pink dolphin in the water just ahead of us.
We were on our way for a swim but a big storm came up behind us. The rain began to drizzle, pour.. and then there was a full downfall. Quietly, I sang gayatri mantra and opened my mouth.. it was rain gin so heavy, I was able to simply open my mouth and drink the rain right in.
As I write this entry (in my journal), I am sitting in the moloka with some of the other members of the group. The girls were having a very interesting conversation about extraterrestrials. I took down a few notes, as I haven’t a clue.. Pleadians, Annunaki, Andromedeans, Reptilian.. One of the girls mentioned Mount Adams in Washington, I will try to make a trip there one of these days.
Tomorrow morning is kambo.. a visit to a nearby village.. and our third ayahuasca ceremony.
Sharing this journey with hopes of deeper understanding and to help aid you in your own inner travels.