But this first entry is about my last, 5th ceremony, at the retreat center. Ok- so I looked back at previous entries that I already wrote. In addition, I remember that unintentionally or at least not consciously, I was moving my neck and body like a snake … in circular movements. I also opened my jaws very wide, a few times, in order to stretch the bones and muscles. I must have stretched all my muscles and cracked all the bones I was able to. These were instinctive movements with the medicine working in me. The vibrations were more intense than anything I had previously experienced. It started in my legs and moved its way up my body… so much I was bouncing on my mat- feelings as if I could levitate off the ground.
August 28th was our final ceremony. I was hesitant to partake and even more at odds as to what I should ask for. I decided midway through the day that I would ask to see my family lineage.. to see where I came from.
During the floral bath I asked the shaman how much ayahuasca I should drink, she told em half cup.. and so I did.
Immediately, at ceremony, after drinking the half cup, I could feel it working through my body. I sat next the shaman and the energy I felt was more intense. I did not have visuals.. instead I immediately felt very connected, connected to some big energy. The night prior, I felt this intense connection to all those in the room and then to nature. This night, I felt an immense connection to nature and then to my higher self. I could hear the birds, the crickets, the frogs, the moths.. as if they all came out to say hello. The moon was so bright, it illuminated the moloka.. in the darkness of the night, one could see all inside the moloka. The light emanating from the moon was so radiant. The light looked as if there was a cross coming out of the moon, a very intense white light. At a few points in the night, I felt a calling from the moon, my legs began to vibrate, almost uncontrollably.. I asked the moon to not call for me, feeling that I may not return.
My legs continued to vibrate, so intensely I thought I may levitate off the ground. I was very scared at the time.
The first shaman sat in front of me, singing his icaros. I was very present, I felt a tough fathers love in front of me. I called on the energy of the moon to shine of the shaman and then on me.
The energy was immense when the other Shaman sat in front of me. I my entire body was vibrating, so much so that I was actually bouncing off my mat. I was dancing during this time. i was moving my hands like a snake and my body and neck followed.
As the singing continued, so did my dance. I felt the vibration in their voice.. when they finished, I danced to the sounds of nature. I could their vibration deep within.
During the night, my mind drifted to my intention, I saw Shiva. He was very large, very powerful… and I began vibrating again. He was sitting in front of me. I looked up and could not see where the top of his head was. He was massive and all encompassing. I realized my family lineage came from Shiva and I came from vibrations.
I was busy moving all night and feeling the energy. When ceremony ended, I got up to use the bathroom- I was very dizzy. My body was still vibrating.
I was so grateful for the experience. I felt so intone with my self. I did not want and still do not want this connection to fade.
That night, I laid in my bed, wanting and concentrating on the vibration I felt within and outward with the sounds of nature and the awe of the stars in the sky.
Sharing this journey with hopes of deeper understanding and to help aid you in your own inner travels.